The Joys of CNBC

There is a fictional contest going on at the arbitrage desk where I work. As anyone who watches CNBC often will attest, the commercials that run on the network are quite repetitive (after adjusting for the local commercials). But I am sure that everyone would be aware of Vermont Teddy Bears (which are "so much bigger than [the girlfriend] thought"), Pajamagrams (which include "all that spa stuff that women really love"), real US-government-issued gold (which trades at about a 25% premium over spot gold, despite the claim that the vendor is selling them "at cost"), PowerShares (with the man who has had only one giant idea about investing ever), and Video Professor (who promises that the next time you have computer learning needs you'll come back to Video Professor), among others.

In any case, the contest involves being able to recite these commercials word for word, the "winner" being the one who can recite the most. I've no real clue how this started, but sadly, I think I am in the lead. The commercials just subliminally insert themselves into my mind while I trade. But that's what commercials are supposed to do, right?

I miss those "Citi never sleeps" commercials, though we still see "Bank of America, Bank of Opportunity".